Left = Right

A cacophony of noise giving way to semblance of serenity.

It has allowed me to hear voices which went unheard for few weeks. It has allowed me to listen to my inner voice.

What does that voice say?

I am from the left. I am from the right.

I am as much from the left as much I am from the right.

I am a bit Ravish Kumar, a bit Barkha Dutt, a bit Arnab Goswami, a bit Ranjit Chaudhary, a bit Kishan-Kanhaiyya,  a bit you, a bit me, and a bit of everything around me.

I have my thoughts, my beliefs, my prejudices, my likes, my dislikes, and my biases.

I allow all these to shroud my thinking and to control me.

I also allow others thoughts, others beliefs, others prejudices, others likes, others dislikes, and others biases to shroud my thinking and control me.

Is that a bit sad or a bit strange or a bit expected or a bit life ?

I like stories. Reading stories, hearing stories, writing stories, and often manufacturing stories.

I like manufactured stories. Stories which have as much fact in them as fiction.

Stories which often have a only a spattering of fact sprinkled over a combo of fiction, just like coriander leaves over a cooked vegetable.

Stories which are manufactured by those who like manufacturing stories and make money doing that.

Stories which are not built around pieces or incidents, but which are predetermined and in which pieces and incidents are fitted retrospectively.

I am blinded in obsession but I don't know that.

I certainly wouldn't want to hear anything: I am intolerant of anyone who wants me to make an effort to realise that.

I like people opposing others but I don't like them opposing me.

That's not right. Or perhaps that's not left.

I am pro Modi and I will use every existing or non existing piece of "evidence" or incident to manufacture stories eulogising Modi.

I am anti Modi and I will use every existing or non existing piece of "evidence" or incident to manufacture stories sullying castigating demonising Modi.

When I am neither pro or anti Modi, I will still be seen as pro or anti Modi !

I care not about morality, righteousness, ethics, and Media ethos.

I care not about what is "right" and what is "wrong" for that is not my agenda. I care not not because I can't care but because I don't care !

May be I am not equipped with the armoury for doing that.

I blank TV screens not because I care about any of those, but because someone else is making more money than me in manufacturing and selling stories. Maybe someone else is using a different combination of fact and fiction in making stories and I wonder why people are digesting those stories.

I am angry and therefore I blank screen, take out rallies, and write about it.

I am angry and therefore I call people on my show, organise them like chess square, and lambast them: one at a time or all at a time.

I however feel I am right: right of left or right of right, I don't know. But I think I am right. Therefore I am justified doing what I think is right.

I would however want to be seen as doing that for I am "good" without actually knowing what that is.

I am confused.

I am muddled in my thinking.

I am as much confused as much I am not.

However one thing I know now.

I am as much from the left as much I am from the right.